I’m proud to release my latest feature film- and probably my most cohesive creative work to date.

In your fast-paced modern life, when was the last time you stopped for a second and watched the grass grow for an hour and a half?

It’s a film with an undeniably powerful message. If your life were as slow as this revolutionary film, you’d live to be nearly 500,000 years old- but- it’s not, and you won’t, and so maybe you should think about that instead of the latest geopet or iphone or Christina Agulara. Also climate change, which this film makes you think about also.

Cause frankly your attitude’s getting a little out of hand, and I was kind of figuring you were just PMSing, and that’s cool, cause you can’t help your innate biology I guess, but it’s been like 2 weeks now and you’re really just bringing us down and we don’t even care AT ALL- so I think you should just watch this visionary film like 3 times until you realize that life is really beautiful and boring and um shut up?

Dedicated to Teague Chrystie.